Why

One trick ponies
riding pink elephants
float on clouds of mayhem
refusing to see
the curtain is drawn and
the act should be over
Life stops where the stage
drops off because
earth is flat in this existence
and once you cross the edge
there’s no coming back
Cheap fixes call for
lowlife hustles so the mirage
can maintain the only pinch
of sanity for the insane
Reality’s cure flies in
on a breeze where granules
travel above a table
on bruised knees
Tunnel vision
through a hand tool
shoved in an orifice
Dementia is the saving grace
Beauty spun from a brilliant
mind into the black widow’s
landmine waiting to explode
Who’s listening to the
secret’s told in this darkness
when the spotlight breaks
the soul’s silence
She who matters most
But oh yeah no one matters
Here
Heart’s betrayal
like butterfly wings
flutters into the night sky
There is no why
It just is

Misspent

How do I love you?
The account will claim
Sleepless nights
Foggy days
Sweet nothings lost
In powdered haze
Crimson veils
That stung and swayed
Turned rusted locks
Broke magic keys
Dropped inflamed hearts
Down to their knees
Skin worn in
To bleed the need
Starved the soul
To feed your creed
Eyes flipped back
I missed the view
Living for
Another you
Serpent’s tongue
A thousand molds
Proof your goods
Were bought and sold
Receipts
The lowest bidder holds
Blows-Blows-Blows
Hit beneath the gut
Stalled out in vacuums
You sealed shut
Without even knowing
No growing
Just honing in
On the distance
Between the spin
Of our two worlds
You can touch my love
But you can’t breathe it in
No vacancy amongst
The demons within
How do I love you?
You can’t comprehend
Released from Light
Your darkest fears
Unleashed to flee
The love that dared
How did you miss
All that was spent
Loving you…

Ruben

Runaway spirit chased into night’s howl
Unfamiliar with the tender bosom of devotion
Broken against love’s bridge from here to there
Ever wooing the comforts of darkness’ minions
Never trusting the peace within

Haunted

What has come to pass
lurks in the shadows
feeding his need to escape
then, now and tomorrow

Smiles drenched in sorrow
he fools everyone
but me
and himself

Hopes tossed on a shelf
too high for his high
to reach
dreams fall in betrayal

Mind fully capable
plays the dozens
with his soul…
overtaking his heart

His body plays the part
victim of circumstance
used in this game
as a tool of chemistry

Justified by philosophy
experiment looms fatal
holding one cause
to suspend the madman

Hunting in the sand
grains of reality creep up
swallowing false foundation
sinking a world created

Unable to stay sedated
blades retract and
exit wounds cry out
“just one more chance…”

Back pocket of his pants
still toting weapons
of self-destruction
death on hold for another day

Now

Rain will fall hard
until second wind
hales the hail storm

Broken pieces cry foul
then time out
clueless – the binding agent

Time engulfs itself
turning hands to
the twelfth hour

The leaning tower
loses its bend
and its crumble is spent

Priceless – the cost
a soul tossed
into oblivion

Tomorrow
we’ll breathe again
but for now – take cover

Soul in Mourning

Breaths drawn strain through constricting reeds;
inhales ache and exhales bleed the unknown.
I become savior, martyr, motivation and devastation
all in one.
He severs the hand of Yah
while reaching for the serpent’s tail,
introducing me to the addict’s living hell.
Life and death weighted
falsely on my shoulders…
a broken heart’s boulder to carry ‘til the end.
Beats of hope in the void,
now his target practice,
are too wounded to pulse for two anymore.
Hours on end of loving him are
sacrificed in blind devotion to the
deception and desperation of his demons.
Sights solely on the spawns of their semen;
he’s chopping down trees of life for no reason.
Truth sprouts open pores which whisper,
I’m yours…
if you maintain.
How ironic,
his creatures are manic and wild,
but it is I who is insane;
holding hands with the universe pulling in vain
to rescue man from adolescence when the
nightmare is his preference.
Chasing unforgiving darkness into a world
hopeless and loveless;
he watches every tear fall pointless
from my shattered olive branch.
Cold winter chill blows hard into my fading garden,
and warmth escapes my nature without pardon.
What is this fatal blow?
Why was this for me to know?
I was not created for this death,
nor prepared for such a loss.
I pray,
Must this be the cost?
Oh God, the burning in my core,
a pain I’ll feel forevermore,
how will I bear the letting go…
the deepest mourning of my soul

The Death of Hope

Smothered by brewed drops of death;
Hope wrestles ’til limp,
drained by retracting streams of possibiities
because the tides never quite roll in.
I’m no longer flooded by fallacies and
false pleasantries.
Despair, made fully aware,
drifts into heart’s altar
enacting afixia.
Pale, blue, rubbery crow
plucked bare by reality…
sick from toxic puffs of
love gone awry.
Lie after lie
wake and watchful
rob me blind.
Darkness becomes sublime
before the treacherous dawn.
Life trembles right before it dies.
Now, I exist for another time.

in transition

organic
my skin bubbles up
manic
as vessels tremble inside
love conquers all
but
ambitious blows
collide
with my chi
this is bigger than me
hopeful
he entered me
as a dragon
hard and mystical
breath
warm and soothing
left me singed
still…
heat waves pulse
like chronic seizures
with thoughts of him
imagine what
his touch does
embers blazing
beneath
bronze eyes
what can i say
that won’t
melt in his flames
words run scared
down my throat
before i choke
gaze falls upon
perfect puffs which
frame his mouth
a single graze
affirms
woman was made
for man
here I am
but
she
rode him first
vengeful scarlet
dripping crystallized dreams
from her
diamond-studded crotch
haunting
wooing
stripping
down his soul
with her mind-licking
poison
he’s lost in her…
her lustful ways
seductive moans
addictive taste
lifeless heart
his chosen fate
he’s lost in crystal

I’m just lost