Holding Composition

The Unknown Righteous_Jerusalem Square of Remembrance

Resurrected bits and pieces resist the crumble,

while vices mumble in these halls, leaning

hard against these walls.

And though I’m home,

I feel alone,

listening for answers my heart can’t hold.

These scenes aren’t foreign,

but I am…

not fitting this skin I’m held in;

needing new form and parcel

for this breath of partial

blowing through my frame.

Reaching for fulfilled me,

tripping over empty;

vacant lots where impressions stayed.

Wanting Him to have His way, while

salted sores impose delay;

how can I rinse away these stains

from nature’s stone?

On my own, fighting in faith,

as demolitions swing their fates;

this foundation feels the quake

… something is lost.

But for the cause, I stay awake,

vigilant for watching’s sake; a

lighthouse beaming hopeful refuge

through these eyes.

Unwelcome spies casting shades,

by this prayer eclipses fade;

flailing forms dissipate as dawn comes nigh.

Structure abides for one more ride,

but I confess this space confines

and, with it, time defies me;

pinching corners in the sphere

of my timeless here.

I just want to be –

without then or there or them or he…

free of now’s dichotomy.

Newness in a soul’s rebirth,

dropped face down in yester’s dearth;

how the pressure closes in on will.

And still, I am the pillar rising high,

holding form and sowing life, while

all the holes beneath the worth

keep me tethered to sinking earth.

Abba

Never as forgiving, and still,
your shadow casts a light.
The might of your tone always
lured my spirit home, wishing
to meet in the secret of night.
In our essence is the fight;
your entitlement to authority
and my self-preserving right
to be free of such.
Neither of us wanted much, but
your ruling hand was heavy and
the needs I missed were steady,
causing both of us to run from
what we loved.
Only He above understood
the bond within the distance and
every instance of my life that
felt not quite right because
your impression was incomplete.
All these spaces searching
all those faces and shallow hearts
in lonely places, hoping
there was one who held
like your embrace.
How could I refill what I didn’t taste?
Both fathers out of reach,
neither afforded the royal seat –
no palace in these ruins
to host court;
only singe and rubble,
the tumbles and fumbles
that knocked the solid grounding
from my grip.
None of them were passing ships,
but hollow shells that felt like crypts,
as I tossed and turned and tried
to make them fit.
No one wears like you…
So, in your final hours let me
slip into your power and melt
into the nature of your hold.
Leave what’s written in ago;
in this moment here behold,
you are the only man I’ve loved
with all my soul.