Tag Archives: choices
Anew
Drifting into tainted places
Swallowing the world’s disgraces
Falling with the empty faces
Longing for Your Heart
Landing where the earth caves in
Bankrupt from invested sins
Ending where You must begin
Running back to start
Employing only one solution
Reckoned into absolution
Overcoming life’s destitution
By way of Love’s new mark
Giving up the walk alone
Unchained from all the darkness sewn
Here’s a life that’s not my own
The All redeems the part
Proof is found in the belonging
Celebrating its homecoming
Surrendered… held… still unmoving
This soul – Your work of art
Knowing you’re the great Creator
Stirring up the heart of nature
Drawing creature to the Maker
Now Your Will imparts
Averted
Crushing this rushing of desire; this
thirst of a heart on fire… running renegade,
compromising empires where altruistic gains
fall lame to crippling wants; where
the weight of sacrificial tithes daunt ’til
all feelings become numb.
Suppressing the stressing of the
center of one, when grounded loses to
dumbfounded in the fog of disheveled sun –
no longer shining in the twining of rays
misdirected, beams affected by the
neutralizing force of energy’s first clause;
there’s no applause for lost place.
Course correct to brace oneself for the
race of all time; floating soul against
sprinting mind, with pace car labeled
“I want mine” always perpetrating its cause.
How will eternity define one’s presence;
the cost analysis of one’s essence…
Captured in the rapture of self set high, or
Freed upon the wings of an angel’s uprise?
There’s no surprise in tempered living; only
seeing and forgiving; only
ends and new beginnings inside
this perpetual cocoon, where soon is
relative to temperament and doom is
realized through sentiment and formidable truth is
the echo no one wants to hear.
No more fear masked in its vices, wearing
shades of our own devices, hoping
next time ’round the will won’t be averted.
In and out these breaths are measured,
holding fast to spirit’s treasures; knowing
life by way of desire leaves much deserted.
For Dungeon Prompts: Desire. I’m a week late on this one (sorry). I’ve been traveling (still am), but had a window of down time at the airport. 🙂
Holding Composition
Resurrected bits and pieces resist the crumble,
while vices mumble in these halls, leaning
hard against these walls.
And though I’m home,
I feel alone,
listening for answers my heart can’t hold.
These scenes aren’t foreign,
but I am…
not fitting this skin I’m held in;
needing new form and parcel
for this breath of partial
blowing through my frame.
Reaching for fulfilled me,
tripping over empty;
vacant lots where impressions stayed.
Wanting Him to have His way, while
salted sores impose delay;
how can I rinse away these stains
from nature’s stone?
On my own, fighting in faith,
as demolitions swing their fates;
this foundation feels the quake
… something is lost.
But for the cause, I stay awake,
vigilant for watching’s sake; a
lighthouse beaming hopeful refuge
through these eyes.
Unwelcome spies casting shades,
by this prayer eclipses fade;
flailing forms dissipate as dawn comes nigh.
Structure abides for one more ride,
but I confess this space confines
and, with it, time defies me;
pinching corners in the sphere
of my timeless here.
I just want to be –
without then or there or them or he…
free of now’s dichotomy.
Newness in a soul’s rebirth,
dropped face down in yester’s dearth;
how the pressure closes in on will.
And still, I am the pillar rising high,
holding form and sowing life, while
all the holes beneath the worth
keep me tethered to sinking earth.
Teeter
This silly world of ups and downs,
grasping for earth and clouds
in disproportionate measure;
fiening for frivolous work and
intensified pleasures.
Where is the weight of existence
when hearts are heavier than
the feathery disposition of mind-kind?
Man is but thought and flesh,
losing soul in the center,
casting out his Inventor for the
adulteration of both.
Full scope narrows as the
cascading of false joys smother;
tethering one lie to another, and so
we suffocate in the smokescreen
that holds our baited breath.
Drawing in deeply upon the
staleness of – this is all –
and there life falls into the void.
Who is left annoyed by this
emptiness of being, this
looking without seeing, this
thinking without knowing, this
taking without needing, this
acting without feeling?
Treachery is breeding, while
balance flees its cause, leaving
today’s teeter in the shadow
of tomorrow’s cost.
Image credit: n2pub.com
Waking
Step by step, I’m taken
Pulled deeper into awaken
Would’ve slept sounder had I known I’d rise to this.
Without remiss, I own the barter
Served the sentence for the charter
Becoming new, I’ve grown to breathe inside the bliss.
To feel the bursting open
To hear what’s never spoken
With every sigh, I serve the universe my kiss.
Letting go and taking in
As it all gathers within
With certainty, my eyes now pierce the groggy mist.
Unfathomed warmth surrounds
While I chill upon these grounds
Amidst the noise, my heart’s bound to the cosmic hiss.
Thank you Lord for the stirring
Every stretch in this emerging
Dawning way, stay my will at high noon’s tryst.
Entrusted
What does it matter –
Inheritance scattered,
equality tattered;
who am I to be flattered by this portion I hold?
I sit to keep from falling,
sometimes run from the calling;
if I stand up to the mauling, will I fold?
Whipping out this tape to measure,
scoffing at this so-called treasure;
why not ride out life until the days grow old?
Hands stretched out, feeling about –
no straight line for this account;
how can life amount to more than what unfolds?
Right or wrong, we’re of one song;
each note unequivocally belongs,
as we strum together throngs to form the whole.
Every sound can be laid down
or lifted high with great resound,
only bound by those convictions of the soul.
With deep regard through darkest nights,
search the stars for Heaven’s lights;
embrace birthright for therein shines divinity’s role.
Entrusted by the hand of God,
all lives bear seeds to feed the sod.
Harvest the fruits to spread the love which bore your mold.
For Dungeon Prompt: Myth Making. The life lesson I share is that although we all are granted unequal portions in life, it is our onus to realize our worth through God’s eyes; and in accordance with His living trust for us, multiply and distribute our fruits abundantly for the good of all who dwell in this time and place and beyond.
The Struggle
How troubles find me in these fields
wrapped in petals, among smothering weeds
Deeply inhaling fresh damp earth, as I
dig deeper to sow these seeds
Like freckles lost in newborn skin,
each blemish quaintly smoothed
This face reflecting every end –
A profile still unmoved
Knowing all a heart can know,
yet seeking so much more
Praying for death as I chase new life
Self-abandoned for the One I adore
Holding steady to a centered peace
while I heel-toe on the ledge
Begging for a safe reprieve, as I’m
drawn closer to the edge
So much lies within these walls
where windows threaten to shatter
Taking cover amid hallowed halls
to escape the earthly chatter
Sirens call out with their charms,
flickering moth to flame
Darkness woos with candied tongue
Now, thoughts are dipped in shame
Herein lies the shifting lever
to this tug-of-war inside
Can compromise buy out my fervor
and gently cloak these eyes?
There is no price that can be paid
to resurrect the Light
But treasures bartered in the lay
intensify the fight
Steadfast is the soul’s one cry
while dust drifts towards the sea
The sun and moon in this spirit lie;
my struggle with humanity
Conundrum
Caught in these throes of freedom
Playing to win what I was born to lose
Shallow causes mark the depth of the fall
Holding less than a pause for the passions I choose
Led by a tip-toe spying the fault
Growing crass in the stride of these deeds
Sinking into steps not meant to be made
Until I finally own the stampede
Mud on the soles sticks deep to this soul
Though it bathes in the flow of the Light
Floating in clouds that swallow me whole
Setting darkness aglow in the night
Perilous stardom flickers about
Illuminating for all corners to see
Out creeps tempters behind angels’ cloaks
Now I’m dancing with the enemy’s breed
Chiseled from the center of spiritual war
Each hand adept at yielding its sword
Consorting with slaves of the devil’s hoard
Posting shields with the armies of the Lord
Affixed in a mix holding firm to the spoils
Heart gripped by Blood’s mercy and grace
While fire in the veins of my jubilant flesh
Ensure the drawing of temptation to this place
Every element of life represents the great divide
Averting eyes from the nature of the sum
Luring spirit out to play whilst the soul toils away
Existence vexed within its own conundrum
Reflection
Held up to the light, but
strands of truth fail to unveil clarity.
Snapshots of divinity mistaken for
serenity, as your concept of heavenly
shakes down reality to its very core.
Adulterated and skewed, your
perceptions leave me speechless.
No reach can achieve this plane you
cleverly claim is etched into your brain
with Kinkade fashion.
Admirable – your passion, though
ill-conceived. What you see is
only seen in the dark
by way of a twisted spark.
Cleared eyes and abandoned heart
look on… on to where the feet touch
the ground and levity is deposited
as a fallacy of spirit.
We were never near it.
The barter and bind that snapped
my handle also cracked your shadow
in my rear view. When this blink ends,
there will be no you.
Anniversary
Ten years and counting
since I learned to bleed
Wounds no longer festering
inside this shell of broken dreams
Time redeems the hollowed spaces
while the hand of God replaces
the varicose traces of those imprints on my soul
Embraced in the Whole that gives me freedom
Losing bondage for the Kingdom
Eternity’s gift the day it saw the shackles fall
I will never look the same
a different cause, a different name
The knowing abandoned at the end of my glance
No reflection of your brand upon my heart
just one stroke in the beauty of this art
Now I dance in the comforts of chance
in a world divinely made for me
Thank you for the time you couldn’t spare
for stealing moments of my air
for breaking down all the good I tried to see
So grateful for vacant dinner tables
silence when all was unstable
unheard cries through darkest nights
heartless acts with scornful might
That smothering absence of any heed
whenever my spirit couldn’t breathe
was exactly what I needed to survive
Never was a fall so low until your kind
I came to know and still the rise so
ever high once failure resurrected hope
The scope is immeasurable
this growing into self in spite of self
by way of self’s ability to overcome the impossible
You crushed the innocence of my love while
laying the stepping stones for my ascension
And at least in this dimension I am compelled
to thank you for all the wrongs that fueled
the heaving throng of miseries which freed me
Ten years and counting the ever mounting
sea of blessings which hold my being
in a depth of seeing that guides my path
since the day I walked away from you
The Morning After
Laying here scattered, thoughts tattered
Like a newborn ripped from the womb
Wiggling in this goo of lost comfort
Unable to seize enough air to bellow my angst
Confusion bustles around me
Thoughts run frantic in an
Effort to wipe away fear
Only, it smears instead
This bed does not swaddle my insecurities
No, it illuminates impurities I no longer hide
And I can’t scoff because – I made it
I made it, but I won’t lie in its prickly sheets
I mustn’t, I can’t
But will I…
Eve is already drifting into awakening
Pinching dreams into fruition
Status no longer petitioned, no longer new
This soul doesn’t know how to recant
The scant of its flesh in epic fail
No retake posted, no longer hosted
Culpability envelopes me, tucking me
Tighter into these rags, lower into these throes
Eyes baring secrets I shouldn’t yet know
Essence nude in compromising layers of contemplation
Bartered salvation for sensations I’ve
Already almost forgotten
Those piercings of the night sink in deep
With no space to bleed out in the morn
If I could not save myself in the dark
Who will I be come dawn
Aboideau
It swings both ways…
the door between
my contagious charms
and the burn behind your gaze
Your phase is just a meltdown,
a falling into what can never sustain
These bones refuse to sink into
shifting sands that sift through
shallow, weakened walls…
Arms unloaded and locked, not meant
to understand the tides that
stir this spirit’s pause
I pray you feel this cause
Rejecting moods of reckless man,
praise rides wild on doting breaths
my soul cannot contain;
a force that gnaws at soulless limbs
which wish such love was tamed
Unashamed and hanging in defeat,
loosed tongues wield whetted blades;
prepping now a victor’s march as if
such things can cut these flames
This source knows no retreat,
a Will of power beyond my own,
seized in the Light that never dims,
a joy with an unceasing roar, but you’re
standing at my door, wearing
eternity in your glare,
darkness furies in your stare
And I, fully aware of the
Heart who holds my own,
wonder which you fear more…
the power of Glory within
or the sight of the open door
Time waits
while I run
This ferocity of action
charged by expectations
only a madman can measure
This treasure – gifted curse
of accommodation
Pockets too deep to
not pay the costs
Cashing out this well of
blood, sweat and tears that
I remit with a smile
The meanwhile, as meager as it is,
gives way to tender moments and
fits of fury, competing
to be my resting place;
mere seconds of redemption in an
ongoing whirlwind of others’
and self-imposed demands
Wants get met under the
delusion of necessity, the
compromise of humanity, the
sacrifice of sanity
But I’m still thinking…
Annoyed and intrigued,
wagers pour their pockets into
the kitty riding on my survival
I hear their whispers
I know their bets
I feel their air,
but won’t breathe it in
Those clouds are too high
and too low for my sustenance
Not for sport –
Existence is an art; drawn and
choreographed by circumstance;
painted and performed by me
I always have a choice
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