She longed to take it all in,
to be filled with knowing through every pore.
Breathing deeply; the most coveted item on her bucket list.
Lungs of a soulful depth only drew in shallow airs, leaving her
lips kissed with salty drops and gritty grains, thirsting still for more.
Her spirit fumed,
never reaching the sights of her heart.
Every part listened, but ultimately numbed to the
crushing waves of insubordination which looted her naivety.
Perhaps, no one would ever know the richness of her fullness.
she looked on, as if it would appear.
She looked on, as if he was allowed to take her all in.
He wasn’t. He couldn’t. He could only capture her wavering shell.
Without breath, she could only wait for the stillness to restore her life.
Twisting and turning, I’m
churning for a buttery existence, a
melting through the burn of resistance.
I want to flow, beginning to end, as
the flavor of life seasoned just right
for discriminating palates; the ones whose
mallets demand the taste of love in their presence.
Essential essence resonates with the kindred
and the lacking; the filled up and the cracking,
and here I am – sticky like glue.
Is it wrong to leave my residue, and then
slip away off the edge of a smile? It seems
I have a way with meanwhiles.
Moderation begs my leave… preservation –
my reprieve – yet, to my bosom clings
the thirsting heart for more.
Its score unsettled in my arms, with
less than requited charms, finds
adoration’s just a whisper behind the door.
Evermore, permeating measure, I wield this
captive treasure, finding peace just past
the reach of tangible.
Unimaginable only blinks ago, this truth
only my God could know hid in the belly
of self artifact. Therein, the part of origin
left intact beneath the rubble, the
broken bubble of this lifetime,
now wiggles its fingers through the crumble.
Prints brushing against the winds of time
with their endless story, caressed by glory,
where nothing else sticks.
Nurture is drawn to the outcry, but
nature remains slippery to a fault.
I am everything and nothing worth
holding on to.
Step by step, I’m taken
Pulled deeper into awaken
Would’ve slept sounder had I known I’d rise to this.
Without remiss, I own the barter
Served the sentence for the charter
Becoming new, I’ve grown to breathe inside the bliss.
To feel the bursting open
To hear what’s never spoken
With every sigh, I serve the universe my kiss.
Letting go and taking in
As it all gathers within
With certainty, my eyes now pierce the groggy mist.
Unfathomed warmth surrounds
While I chill upon these grounds
Amidst the noise, my heart’s bound to the cosmic hiss.
Thank you Lord for the stirring
Every stretch in this emerging
Dawning way, stay my will at high noon’s tryst.
Held up to the light, but
strands of truth fail to unveil clarity.
Snapshots of divinity mistaken for
serenity, as your concept of heavenly
shakes down reality to its very core.
Adulterated and skewed, your
perceptions leave me speechless.
No reach can achieve this plane you
cleverly claim is etched into your brain
with Kinkade fashion.
Admirable – your passion, though
ill-conceived. What you see is
only seen in the dark
by way of a twisted spark.
Cleared eyes and abandoned heart
look on… on to where the feet touch
the ground and levity is deposited
as a fallacy of spirit.
We were never near it.
The barter and bind that snapped
my handle also cracked your shadow
in my rear view. When this blink ends,
there will be no you.
Ten years and counting
since I learned to bleed
Wounds no longer festering
inside this shell of broken dreams
Time redeems the hollowed spaces
while the hand of God replaces
the varicose traces of those imprints on my soul
Embraced in the Whole that gives me freedom
Losing bondage for the Kingdom
Eternity’s gift the day it saw the shackles fall
I will never look the same
a different cause, a different name
The knowing abandoned at the end of my glance
No reflection of your brand upon my heart
just one stroke in the beauty of this art
Now I dance in the comforts of chance
in a world divinely made for me
Thank you for the time you couldn’t spare
for stealing moments of my air
for breaking down all the good I tried to see
So grateful for vacant dinner tables
silence when all was unstable
unheard cries through darkest nights
heartless acts with scornful might
That smothering absence of any heed
whenever my spirit couldn’t breathe
was exactly what I needed to survive
Never was a fall so low until your kind
I came to know and still the rise so
ever high once failure resurrected hope
The scope is immeasurable
this growing into self in spite of self
by way of self’s ability to overcome the impossible
You crushed the innocence of my love while
laying the stepping stones for my ascension
And at least in this dimension I am compelled
to thank you for all the wrongs that fueled
the heaving throng of miseries which freed me
Ten years and counting the ever mounting
sea of blessings which hold my being
in a depth of seeing that guides my path
since the day I walked away from you
Rolling tide breaks free
of ocean’s gravity
rising high to regain pride and
defy placement amongst the calm
Fullest awe then folds and crashes
birthing fields of foamy laughter
knowing molds no longer guide
All is still, but only resting
til next moment comes arresting
springing up above horizon
new day’s shore
Spirit tide you are my core.
Billowed cloud no longer gray
drops of darkness cast away
kissed by earth in heaven’s way
to subdue the flustered puff
Nearly empty of its weights
angels blow to dissipate
chains lingering in the sails
so it may float
Drifting deeply into currents
taking risks without assurance
owning nothing but the riches
of its Maker
Heart cloud you are my center.
Cloaked in afterthoughts of day
granting moon the gift of sway
leaving wolves to howl their cries
in murky skies
Sun takes rise against its rival
summons Light for all survival
granting mercy’s liberation
to the flawed
Upon grace its rays are burning
tempered fury for the undeserving
flames command the storms of life
revere its source
Soul sun you are my force.