Truth revealed through a tender heart
The hands shaping wounds into works of art
Eyes that see beauty in the deepest of flaws
Who gives hope to every hopeless cause
Foundation when everything trembles around
What lifts your spirit when you’ve lost ground
The Rock of Ages in your sinking sands
A quiet still voice against the world’s demands
Maker of ways when there’s no way out
Reason for believing when filled with doubt
The light of salvation when you’ve given up
The end of thirst when you drink from my cup
Everything good beneath your broken view
Love, the Creator, and I dwell within you
This is more than a declaration of my spiritual beliefs. Each statement above represents each individual’s capacity to receive and give and BE love. There is a way to convey truth that isn’t harmful, threatening or hurtful in its delivery and intent. While some express an ease in living in denial or ignorance; this perspective is disingenuous to one’s true being. Truth isn’t always welcome, and it often travels on airs of subjectivity, causing the hearer to tune out. However, whether the hearer is someone else or you, learning to deliver and receive and BE truth is necessary to realizing a life of integrity.
Everyone is wounded. Everyone has hidden parts. Often, we sacrifice the fullness of life by constantly licking those wounds or hiding behind those secret places of hurt and insecurity. Overcoming isn’t about ignoring or forgetting; it’s about learning, reshaping and offering a testimony. What good is any pain if you do not grow from it? What good are your past experiences, if they are not used to help others going through similar trials? The key word being “good”… what “good” can come of the bad you’ve known?
Love is blind. No, it is not! Love sees all, and accepts all for what it is. Yes, we want the best for and of ourselves and those we care about… some of us even want the best for and of the world at large. But let’s be honest, nothing in this life is perfect (whatever perfect means). Criticism reigns within and without on so many levels, as this world dictates a clone mentality… look like this… think like that… measure your being up against the skew of a few. Beautiful is what makes you – YOU. What makes you special… physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually… is that which defines your unique contribution to the universe. Sameness is like listening to an orchestra and hearing only one note.
Who or what is your “go to” when you feel defeated? They say misery loves company. Well, I know nothing draws out darkness like light; it draws it and drowns it with hope and stability, pouring out a reassurance which lets you know that you will survive the sinking ship. Some are blessed to have others in their lives who serve as a rock; others are blessed to be that rock; and, many can only find the source of comfort they need beyond humanity’s angels. If you don’t have a source of uplifting… reach out, because there is ALWAYS someone willing to share joy with another’s heart.
Be still my aching heart. There is holiness in being still, in bringing peace to all the beating impulses of the mind and body. We often want to run, act, react, force, move, control… and in those desires, we lose our center. Rashness and anxiousness take over and master our wills and senses as we stand in defensiveness against the world. But in the stillness… in the calm… in the meditation… in the prayer… in the soothing whisper of a loved one, we can regain composure, perspective and presence. We must remember to carry a stillness within to balance the chaos among us.
Some believe in karma, while others see no consequence. Some believe everything happens for a reason, while others believe in chance. Some believe in free will, while others believe in destiny. Some believe in judgment. Some believe in nothing at all. Most, I think, believe in some combination of these. My faith rests in the guidance and protection of my God, Yahweh, while others define the Creator in other ways, if they, in fact, believe in a Creator. Even for the non-spiritual, however, there has to be a driving force internally or externally which prods one to persevere. Perhaps it is the human condition for them. I know, for me, too many miracles have occurred… too many paths have been uncovered… too many chances have been bestowed… too many tragedies have been survived… too many endings have been avoided… and too many unimaginable blessings have adorned my life for me to not believe in something greater than myself… greater than humanity… greater than this world.
This world confines, speaks doubt and negativity, and finds ways to extinguish the spirit of innocence and altruism. And yet, here we are. You and I, he and she, us and them… constantly fighting to reveal something beautiful, engaging, inspiring, and evolving… something so much more than what exists on the surface of existence. In as much as God is here for me, I am here for you, and you are here for someone else. We are all capable of leading someone else somewhere better; and, through the process, will find ourselves improved.
Everlasting life in His cup… the salvation of His sacrifice… the goodness He creates from our falls and failures… yes, these are my beliefs… my mantras… my “self-talk.” How similar or dissimilar these are from other faiths, I do not know. I do know that LOVE in and of itself is life giving. I do know that sharing LOVE with others is contagious and has brought many souls out of isolation and suffering. I do know that LOVE has seen through the dark, ugly and hateful, and has transformed hardened hearts and vexatious minds into completely new spirits of joy and abundance. I do know the power of LOVE… in God… in myself… and in you.
Come float upon the breaths which gift the spirit’s flight
Weaving through each finger the feathers of hope’s delight
Knowing not what lies beyond horizon’s reddened light
Still a worthy venture, clawing past despairing night
Flying high on faith, within the broken heart’s cocoon
Landing on the Rock to bask away life’s deepest wounds
Wading in the glory, for every midnight has its moon
Dancing with the story, for every note reveals a rune
Compiling pieces of the journey into a span far and wide
Watching soul begin to soar as all but joy will soon subside
Casting light between all clouds, on these blessed wings I ride
Ensuing peace, for everything a rightful place beneath God’s eyes
Perhaps my heart will fall apart…
Each restart is a higher climb, a
broader sea for my mind to find
those pearls worth working hard for
I guess I’m here to be adored, but
can I spare another exit from my soul?
Never a part, always more than whole;
I surrender everything needed,
freely or conceded, but
for what is love, otherwise?
It is not wise – it is not worthy;
unequally yoked, lacking survey,
more than whims, but not infinities, a
source of strength that will destroy me
– nothing resolute.
Standing astute, I carve the edge
where charms fall short and hope is bled,
knowing that distance plays my hand
with shield and sword, nonetheless…
Life is my prison, and Faith – the ward.
This light that shines also betrays,
drawing nearer all that sways, and
though I run, there’s no escaping the
unexpected beau in waiting, no matter
how intensely my eyes are shut.
So, what the hell, I let it go…
release myself to feel once more
the rush of all divinity on earth;
pour out the brilliance of my worth upon
the end of a thorn that says “this hurts”
No, not a fool, though it may seem;
rather, a dreamer with titanium wings
All these blows that crush the tepid mold;
all these screams inside that won’t be told
– a greater means for love’s unfold
A process filled with many leaps; a
vast containment with tiny leaks; and
though I lose, victory has peaks, so I
swallow hard and brave the ride,
praying somehow I’ll survive…
this ebb and flow of tragic beauty;
finite space for eternal duty; taste of
forever with nowhere to start;
indestructible force within my heart;
the deeper knowing I long to impart
before it all just falls apart
What does it matter –
who am I to be flattered by this portion I hold?
I sit to keep from falling,
sometimes run from the calling;
if I stand up to the mauling, will I fold?
Whipping out this tape to measure,
scoffing at this so-called treasure;
why not ride out life until the days grow old?
Hands stretched out, feeling about –
no straight line for this account;
how can life amount to more than what unfolds?
Right or wrong, we’re of one song;
each note unequivocally belongs,
as we strum together throngs to form the whole.
Every sound can be laid down
or lifted high with great resound,
only bound by those convictions of the soul.
With deep regard through darkest nights,
search the stars for Heaven’s lights;
embrace birthright for therein shines divinity’s role.
Entrusted by the hand of God,
all lives bear seeds to feed the sod.
Harvest the fruits to spread the love which bore your mold.
For Dungeon Prompt: Myth Making. The life lesson I share is that although we all are granted unequal portions in life, it is our onus to realize our worth through God’s eyes; and in accordance with His living trust for us, multiply and distribute our fruits abundantly for the good of all who dwell in this time and place and beyond.
Ten years and counting
since I learned to bleed
Wounds no longer festering
inside this shell of broken dreams
Time redeems the hollowed spaces
while the hand of God replaces
the varicose traces of those imprints on my soul
Embraced in the Whole that gives me freedom
Losing bondage for the Kingdom
Eternity’s gift the day it saw the shackles fall
I will never look the same
a different cause, a different name
The knowing abandoned at the end of my glance
No reflection of your brand upon my heart
just one stroke in the beauty of this art
Now I dance in the comforts of chance
in a world divinely made for me
Thank you for the time you couldn’t spare
for stealing moments of my air
for breaking down all the good I tried to see
So grateful for vacant dinner tables
silence when all was unstable
unheard cries through darkest nights
heartless acts with scornful might
That smothering absence of any heed
whenever my spirit couldn’t breathe
was exactly what I needed to survive
Never was a fall so low until your kind
I came to know and still the rise so
ever high once failure resurrected hope
The scope is immeasurable
this growing into self in spite of self
by way of self’s ability to overcome the impossible
You crushed the innocence of my love while
laying the stepping stones for my ascension
And at least in this dimension I am compelled
to thank you for all the wrongs that fueled
the heaving throng of miseries which freed me
Ten years and counting the ever mounting
sea of blessings which hold my being
in a depth of seeing that guides my path
since the day I walked away from you
He said, “I do”
Somehow I always knew.
Denial and the Will are a
Dreams of ever-after
capsulized into a tiny gaseous star
buried in the depths of my bosom.
It’s only light, the flicker in my eyes.
Days became freedom runs;
I always shined in the rat race.
Dusk drew dimmer times, and
weekends were the darkest.
I didn’t want to watch, but
could never look away.
That was the twist of the blade.
What about me was never enough?
He said, “I never will… again”
That one actually fooled me.
foolish had become my surname.
It was never as blatant as
the first time…
pressed into the wall by the grip
of his drunken stupor,
but the encores would mark
another beginning to the end.
I knew I was broken,
I didn’t know how much.
Not all of me was daft;
escaping became an art
and then a routine.
Perhaps I could survive this…
‘til death do us part.
He never said, “I couldn’t”
I just assumed it.
She wasn’t the first, but
she was my sister after all.
And there I was… the leading role;
Sigourney Weaver in
“Liars in the Mist” and
I alone searched in the dark.
Which truth would be mine?
Death triumphed over the knowing.
Defenses of the mind are second only
to defenses of the heart,
I protected both;
Failure was not an option.
I would be the perfect wife and mother
at all costs.
And the alternate universe began.
I said, “I will not give up”
The eventual clouding over of my heart
loosened my grasp until the
notion of –us– unknowingly slipped
through my fingers.
Fear’s shadow retreated,
and likewise – hope.
Boundaries began to fade with
all the reasons I once had to care.
My bag of tricks emptied…
no more facades of perfection,
no more afflicting suspicions,
no more chill of isolation.
I still wasn’t me, but at least
I wasn’t her anymore either.
I just was.
Existing without delusion was enough.
I never thought, “I will one day”
But one day came.
In a moment, I took it all in:
twelve years and counting;
adrift in a world with so many layers,
I’m still peeling off skins.
I knew I was stronger than the
sum of my hurts, but my spirit wasn’t.
Without warning, she left me
and all her vexations followed.
The scars of my flesh and the
wounds of my soul – together
armored my heart,
on that one day,
in that one moment,
and I was no longer his.
I was no longer his.
And discovery of my universe began,
as I searched in the Light
to regain what was lost.