And I cringed
within the betrayal,
the sheer audacity of his being.
Coming of age earns no right to
pre-meditating the turns and
moves to navigate challenge,
to contend gracefully with life…
such is my badge.
Today is not the day for me
to bleed from the exit of its prick.
This is not the hour of acceptance,
when accountability adds weight to
mistakes that cannot be undone by
a mother’s touch.
This is not
the moment I
relinquish my instinct
to the folly of desired manhood.
I thought it was understood, but no.
And I shun
as I lay here with all these layers
of me trapped in my bed of desertion.
he’ll rise without my bidding, and
fall without my net, and the
bruising of existence will
begin to take its toll,
as he wishes.
For Challenge for Growth Prompt #11: Overcoming Resistance
Burdens aren’t so hard to bear
when you’ve always lived there;
on the upside of the yellow stripe,
where all the extra piles on.
Taxi confessions turned on and
I’m taking them for a ride
to the other side of heavy, as the
beings from seemings
into the skin of my universe;
where I feel each pitted verse
along the grooves of my pulse.
This is a one-way conversation.
Regulations won’t carry my story
to the news.
I can’t be the muse when blues
only belts in the sound room
of my soul. And so I roll.
But the backseat chauffeurs
breaking headlines – the stuff
others’ dreams are made of – from
stations to pit stops,
bottomed-out alleys to rooftops;
these lids folding with the flipping
of every page, watching each dance
take its stage in the heart of my
The seats are stacked and I’m
pumping the brakes for another
thumb on the run…
capacity won’t fill in this expanding air.
Bring on your weight and the
luggage to spare.
I am your right here, and the
meter goes black until we find there
someone’s got something to give
and no room to take, but I will
relive the stakes with you;
carrying these fragilities within
the armor of my mobile fortress,
until I find the key to my exit door.
For Dungeon Prompts: I’d Still Like to Learn…
As someone who always takes on the burdens of others, refuses to share my burdens with anyone, and seemingly carries the heavy load effortlessly; I think it will be wise for me to eventually learn to move out of the “loading zone” and, perhaps, even unload some of the pile up already sitting on my shoulders… just sayin’. 🙂
Bellows burst open the careful seaming of my soul,
as I lift up my being to the Lord.
Wearing this offering best with abandon; if I
arrived clothed, soon I won’t be anymore.
Love rises from these faults and failures, like
the trembling chords of freedom’s first cry.
Your embrace unfolds all my secrets,
taking death to renew this child’s life.
Out loud, You shine through exalting’s stance;
in palms’ submitting, face’s illuminating,
eyes’ pouring out of your proof, while feet
dance in the rivers of Glory’s wading.
My tongue swells with praise, and these days
fade with moments of profound Presence.
With the salted wet pores which seep my wear, I
wipe away this playground’s dust from my senses,
leaving room for your restoration only.
Cleanse my spirit with angels’ harmony:
the blistering fire; the smoldering flame; the
gentle flicker… all the same, engulfing me.
The sound of your grace cannot be named;
the depth of your mercy to no phrasing belongs.
All I can offer in the surrender of my all –
the float of my voice upon the heart of my song.
For Dungeon Prompt: Take Me To Church
Never as forgiving, and still,
your shadow casts a light.
The might of your tone always
lured my spirit home, wishing
to meet in the secret of night.
In our essence is the fight;
your entitlement to authority
and my self-preserving right
to be free of such.
Neither of us wanted much, but
your ruling hand was heavy and
the needs I missed were steady,
causing both of us to run from
what we loved.
Only He above understood
the bond within the distance and
every instance of my life that
felt not quite right because
your impression was incomplete.
All these spaces searching
all those faces and shallow hearts
in lonely places, hoping
there was one who held
like your embrace.
How could I refill what I didn’t taste?
Both fathers out of reach,
neither afforded the royal seat –
no palace in these ruins
to host court;
only singe and rubble,
the tumbles and fumbles
that knocked the solid grounding
from my grip.
None of them were passing ships,
but hollow shells that felt like crypts,
as I tossed and turned and tried
to make them fit.
No one wears like you…
So, in your final hours let me
slip into your power and melt
into the nature of your hold.
Leave what’s written in ago;
in this moment here behold,
you are the only man I’ve loved
with all my soul.